Stmarie’s Weblog

2012 Election Information

God Save the Queen !!!!!! November 9, 2008

After Barack Obama was elected I received this mandate from the Queen of England.

       the-queen
   
 
To the citizens of the United  States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen  Elizabeth II
 

In light of your failure in  recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of  the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice  of the revocation of your independence, effective  immediately.
  
 
(You should look up  ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English  Dictionary.)

   
 
Her Sovereign  Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over  all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas,  which she does not fancy).
 
   
 
Your new Prime  Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America  without the need for further elections.
 
   
 
Congress and the  Senate will be disbanded.  A questionnaire may be  circulated next year to determine whether any of you  noticed.
 
   
 
To aid in the  transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules  are introduced with immediate effect:
   
 
1. The letter ‘U’  will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’  ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’  Likewise, you will learn to  spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters,  and  the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’   Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to  acceptable levels.  (look up ‘vocabulary’).  

 
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2. Using the same  twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as  ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an  unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is  no such thing as U.S. English. We will let  Microsoft know on your  behalf.  The Microsoft spell-checker will  be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u”  and the elimination of  ‘-ize.’  

 
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3. July 4th will  no longer be celebrated as a holiday.  
 
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4. You will learn  to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or  therapists.  The fact that you need so many lawyers and  therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be  independent.  Guns should only be used for shooting  grouse.  If you can’t sort things out without suing  someone or speaking to a therapist,then you’re not ready to  shoot grouse.  
 
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5. Therefore, you  will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more  dangerous than a vegetable peeler.  Although a permit  will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in  public.  
 
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6. All  intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will  start driving on the left side with immediate effect.  At  the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and  without the benefit of conversion tables.   Both  roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the  British sense of humour.  
 
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7. The former USA  will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling  gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon.  Get used to  it.  
 
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8. You will learn  to make real chips.  Those things you call French fries  are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling  potato chips are properly called crisps.  Real chips are  thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup  but with vinegar.  
 
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9. The cold,  tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually  beer at all.  Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will  be referred to as beer, and European brews of  known and  accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager.  South  African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound  the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due  to the beer.  They are also part of the British  Commonwealth – see what it did for them.  American brands  will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all  can be sold without risk of further  confusion.  
 
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0.  Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors  as good guys.  Hollywood will also be required to  cast English actors to play English characters.  Watching  Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and  a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears  removed  with a cheese grater.  
 
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1. You will cease playing  American football.  There is only one kind of proper  football; you call it soccer.  Those of you brave enough  will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some  similarities to American football, but does not involve  stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full  kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).   
 
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12. Further, you  will stop playing baseball.  It is not reasonable to host  an event called the World Series for a game which is not  played outside of America.  Since only 2.1% of you are  aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is  understandable.  You will learn cricket, and we will let  you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of  their deliveries.  
 
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3. You must tell us who  killed JFK.  It’s been driving us mad.  
 
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4. An internal revenue agent  (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be  with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due  (backdated to 1776).  
 
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5. Daily Tea Time begins  promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never  mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus  strawberries (with cream)  when in  season.  
 
God Save the  Queen!  
   

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Barack Obama and the Days Ahead for Us. November 7, 2008

I took a few days off to reflect upon what has just occurred in history.

First of all I am happy to see that we now have an Afro American in the oval office.  I just wish that it wasn’t Barack Obama and he hadn’t entered there by such unscrupulous design.  A good old corrupt, Chicago Democrat process at its finest, executed so perfectly.

It is sad to see that we as human beings still put so much emphasis on race, gender, religion and nationality.

In the eyes of many, they see a person of Afro-American decent being elected into office. I see another human being.  In the end this was an election of emotion and not of substance.  Again we have failed as an intellectually educated society and the populous has made a terrible decision. It has become apparent to me that Barack Obama was elected as if he was some kind of a novelty item.  Barack Obama is cute, chromatic, grandiloquent and entertaining.

When I see the likes of Oprah Winfrey well up into tears because an Afro American has been elected it bothers me as to the fact that Barack Obama’s origins are the very first considerations that made Oprah support Obama. Oh, I’m sure that she also fell for all his golden tonged rhetoric. But I’m sure that was second to the fact that he is Afro American.

So now what?  Well, for me it is going back to the Clinton days where I did not buy a lot of things as it was always a guessing game on how much I had to pay in taxes.  Usually at the end of every year I would get slapped around by the IRS and have to write a sizable check.  That did not happen in all the Bush years. I bought a house, a new car, new computers and a lot more.  Now all of my future spending is on hold for the next four years as I know the bloody nose days of the IRS wrath will be upon me again.  I could be wrong but any Democrat that says he is going to lower taxes is obviously lying to score voters confidence.

Obama calling on economic experts for their advice.

I hope that these people will convince Barack that any increase in taxes for either individuals or corporations will be devastating and the final blow to the stability of our economy.  High taxes are only palatable in a very inflated, bubble economy where cash flow is plentiful.  This will not be the case for the next 3 or 4 years and I hope by then Barack will be out of office.

If Barack Obama really wants to institute change then he will do things like to following.

Appoint both Conservative and Liberal judges to the the Supreme Court. Now that would be change.

Appoint Republicans, Democrats and Libertarians to his cabinet.  Now that would be change.

Best thing that Obama could do to keep Joe Biden from becoming the new Dan Quayle is to tell ‘ole Dan to just stand in the corner and smile (Already he doesn’t take direction from the Commander in Chief very well.) Don’t think or say anything otherwise ‘ole Dan may just screw up the system.

So I found this picture of Dan and Obama.

barack-and-joe-biden-the-curmudgeon

After I saw this picture, Joe looked like someone that I know that is running for president.

So now we will see what happens. I turned off my crystal ball the other night and this was the last image that appeared in the ball when I asked about the future of the next four years. I was quite amused at the vision that was in the crystal ball.

ratfuk

LOL  Let’s hope that my crystal ball was wrong.

Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin for President and Vice President 2012

ST